moving on is a fucking difficult thing to do. at the age of 24, tears still come too easily - obviously i have a lot of growing up to do. i think i must be the most idiotic person in this world, for being so upset for losing someone that doesn't even want to mention my name anymore, someone that dislike and disregard my existences, my appearances. why does it have to hurt so much anyway?
tonight i stayed at home to nurse my own wound. i had my earphones on near full-blast, blaring anything loud and noisy while surfing randomly on the internet; my own way of therapy that is bad for the ears, but good for the mind. i convinced myself that it is not a wrong decision to come back for cny, but ironically i hope cny could end faster so that i can leave all these behind.
i know i'm going to be okay. all i need is just time.
i think i'm feeling better right now.
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