2009: finale

as i was sailing across year 2009, the sea was initially calm with tender waves. but it sucks so bad when i realised that this was the calm before the storm.

have you ever thought that it could be a real fact that many of us tend to magnify the flaws in our life? months ago when i lost something that i've been gripping on so tight, i jumped off the boat and swam frantically in the water trying to go back and retrieve it. no matter how people kept telling me repetitively that the 'thing' will not come back, and i should look at the big picture, i never listened; no matter how hard the waves kept hitting on me, i insisted to swim  further and further away from the boat, jeopardizing myself again and again. maybe part of the stubborn me thought that this is the big picture and never wanted to accept the fact that there is so much more to live than this. i guess i always knew it, it's just that i never wanted to accept.

apart from the bad things that had happened this year, like my dad was hospitalized after a car accident, my sis was hospitalized too because of dengue fever, losing my grandmother forever in december,  losing trust and faith on a particular someone, haunted by some bitch, there are actually good things that had happened, too. but because i was over-focused on the worse, i nearly forgot to appreciate them - the good things. like, how can i forget the fact that i've actually learnt to run in high heels after 8 months of working as an audit assistant? and i worked overtime! claimed all sort of allowances happily, and learnt to cope with overtime stress, coordinating with clients and mastering the art of looking busy at work! these were exciting new experiences and i almost fail to remember them anymore.

hmm what else? oh, i self-studied 2 acca papers and passed both of them! i was so happy, how could i forget about it? i remembered i was so proud of myself at that moment and was so determined to finish the remaining papers. i almost forgot how awesome that feeling was. moreover, i was lucky enough  for being supported by my family to quit my job, and enrol myself in another university. how can i not feeling grateful for being able to enjoy the freedom of a student once again?

and i went to australia for the first time! bought winter jacket for the first time, hugged a koala, patted a few kangaroos, poked a wombat, fed some sheep, elephants, pigs at the crocodile hunter's zoo, visited the iconic sydney opera house, harbour bridge and all the touristy places. oh and gold coast! i almost forgot i went to gold coast, and screamed my lungs out at the kiddy scooby doo ride. i also bought a harry potter plushie for my sister, and a lot of stuff until my luggage was over-weighed by 4 kgs. and malacca! and singapore! how can i not remember the great time i've spent with friends at these places?

and so, at this point, i have already typed 534 words and listed down the things that i remembered happened in 2009. i scrolled up and read it again, and it is pretty obvious that the good things outnumbered the bad things. i should be convinced enough that 2009 is not that bad afterall. i just have to stop being emo at the flaws, look at the big picture, and remind myself from time to time that there is so much more to live than this. i hope i could get back to the boat soon, and continue sailing across my life, with more strength and wisdom.

happy 2010 =)