weight issue

i've been swimming for the past weeks since, i don't know when. may/june, i guess? well. the result was promising on the first week - i dropped 1kg. just by swimming four times a week. and i was excited. it's indeed motivating so i continued swimming on days when i don't have to go for my japanese class.

but my progress has been stagnant for quite some time. yes, i shredded about 3kgs since jan/feb after all the excessive travels. but it's just weird. my weight remained unchanged, regardless of  whether it's after meal, before meal, after binge eating or when i'm hungry. now tell me this isn't weird. or maybe i should get a new weighing scale? i don't know.

and it certainly did not help that i'm surrounded by singaporean girls who are soooo skinny, petite and short. you can identify me easily among them because i'm just so, huge. now, that's what i called peer pressure. and what's even depressing? they don't even have to watch what they eat. they could just down a whole plate of fried kuey teow or a big mac with upsized fries and coke without any guilt. i think i'm happier in australia because i look smaller. i tell my boyfriend that i feel fat, and he said that's because i live in singapore.

i told myself that i'm exercising for my own good, because regular exercise is good for our health, right? not forgetting to mention that i have high cholesterol. but if i ask myself just why am i so obsessed with this whole weight/size drama, i think i'm just feeling inferior.